Two Week Wait Day 6: Things I Worry About

Two Week Wait Day 6: Sunday, February 27, 2011

Yesterday was bad. I was nothing but nervous all day long. Today started out very promising – I woke up with a can-do attitude. I made French Toast. I marveled at nature and felt like I could do ANYTHING. And then without warning, the worries struck. So I thought it would be a fun exercise to list all the different, sometimes ridiculous worries that go through a person’s mind during the two week wait, when the crazy level gets turned WAY up.

A Sampling of Worries:

• Water flushes things out of your system. If I drink a lot of water, will I flush out the embryos?
• If I laugh too hard, will the vibrations dislodge the embryos?
• If I cough too hard, will the vibrations dislodge the embryos?
• What if that 12 pack of Coke and gallon of milk I just lifted were too much weight all at once?
• Did I wait too long between taking my doses of progesterone?
• Is my abdomen getting too hot with the dog laying on it? The nurse said no heating pads – she is like a living heating pad.
• I was having a lot of breast tenderness and now its gone. Its all over! There’s no hope!
• I need to dye my hair. Can I dye my hair? Better not – fumes.
• My head hurts. Is this a normal headache or one of my classic PMS mondo-headaches?
• I cried yesterday – I hope the emotional stress didn’t ruin my cycle. I know I just read the study that found that stress had no impact on the outcome of an IVF cycle but still….
• I feel some twinges of cramping. Maybe its a pregnancy sign. Or maybe its PMS.
• My temperature is too high – the embryos are burning alive.
• My temperature dipped down to normal for the first time since the transfer. Maybe the higher temp was a good thing and this dip means its all over!
• I’m surrounded by so much support right now and its really keeping me going, but…. what if this cycle fails? I will disappoint everyone and they won’t like me anymore. They won’t care about me like they do now because I won’t be interesting anymore – I’ll just go back to being bitter and sad and no fun to be around.

Suffice to say, my brain is a messed up place right now and I have to give a hand to the people who are on the front lines every day, trying to help me sort out the crazy. Randy is my superhero – he managed to get me up and out of the house yesterday for a date and he coordinated us working together to actually accomplish something in between worries – this custom quilt for a loyal customer.

Note: This pic was taken in the elegant surroundings of Randy’s cube at work with our broken camera, so no judgment on the less than stellar quality, please

Also, Randy: cleaned the entire house, changed the cat litter, went through Mt. Mail and organized it, cleaned out the fridge, went grocery shopping where he bought us some Samoas , made dinner for tonight AND a casserole for tomorrow’s dinner, washed our sheets and re-clothed the bed, took care of Zipper’s every need, washed-folded-put away about 5 loads of laundry, AND took apart my camera to see if he could fix it (Note: do not take apart your digital camera – turns out there are bajillions of tiny screws and microscopic parts that you can barely pick up, much less screw back into place. Randy was able to use his patience and attention to detail to get everything back where it belonged but I don’t think many people would. The camera needs SERIOUS professional help.) And he probably did about 10 other things I’m forgetting right now. I don’t know how I was so lucky as to find my Randy, but I’m thankful for him every second of every day. And he doesn’t laugh at my crazy worries.

Now We’re In Business!

Today we finally turned the corner in the craft room. I can tell because I no longer feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack every time I enter. I call that success.

The Big Picture:

 

The Details:

Yarn sorted by fiber type AND color! I’ve died and gone to heaven.

 

Fabric scraps folded and sorted by color. Its Christmas all over again.

 

A beautiful basket of my favorite fat quarters. I like just gazing at it.

 

Watch out – get ready for some serious crafting, the likes of which this town has never seen.

Snow-pocalypse

Why do I still get all tingly-excited when I get the word that its a snow day? I don’t get paid on snow days so I should hate them – but I’ve been so conditioned to yearn for them that I can’t stop now.

Top 3 “Snow Day” Memories:

• I was about 8 or 9 and woke up feeling like I really didn’t want to go to school (as per usual). Also, my nose was a little sore – like I had slept on my face funny. I knew it was a stretch but I had to try it as an excuse for staying home, so I crept downstairs and sat next to my mom on the couch. I explained, in my most pitiful voice, that my nose hurt and asked if I had to go to school. To my shock and amazement, she said no. I dropped my act and said, “really!?”. She laughed and told me to look out the window and I saw that a virtual blizzard was in progress. School had been canceled. I’m sure my terribly sore nose didn’t prevent me from sledding that day.
• I was around 10 or 11 and we had a triple threat – a snow storm, a snow day, and a power outage. Since our house was equipped with electric heat and an electric stove, we we were cold and tired of eating peanut butter sandwiches. So mom started a fire in the fireplace (a rare occurrence at our house) and we roasted hot dogs and marshmallows over the open flame. We thought we were all kinds of awesome.
• I was about 11 or 12 and school had been canceled all week due to a mondo-storm. We had been out sledding with our neighbors (who owned the sleds) down our epic backyard hill when my dad got home from work and decided to join us. He was usually a hit with our friends, hamming it up with them, teasing just enough to make them feel special, and showing off his amazing pinky finger stump (an amputation that, for some reason, is always and without fail, a kid magnet). And that day was no exception as he was the biggest dare-devil on the “slopes”, careening over logs and going air-born before landing in the frozen creek bed. He paid for his shenanigans later through bruises and sore muscles, but I don’t think he ever regretted the afternoon.
• Honorable Mention: During my freshman year of high school we had a snow/ice storm that closed the expressways for days and turned the local mall into a temporary shelter for truckers and travelers. Our sloped driveway was a solid sheet of ice so I grabbed my mom’s 20-year-old ice skates and practiced figure 8s on the driveway. Well maybe calling them figure 8s is too generous. Lets say I wobbled down the driveway and gracefully stopped myself by crashing into the garage door.

Buried Alive

So I had visions of being able to organize the craft room in a couple hours, thanks to my new organizational system. But I failed to take into account the shear volume of crap I had stuffed into the room. And now I keep having visions of being buried alive under piles of ribbon, quilt batting, tulle, yarn balls, safety pins, glue sticks, fabric scraps, sewing templates, silk flowers, wrapping paper, ric rac, velcro, elastic bands, crochet hooks, sewing patterns, beads, tracing paper, felted sweaters, bobbins, and mounds of half-finished projects. I had to take a break after three hours. I think this is going to take a few days and maybe some PTSD therapy. Here’s what we’ve got so far…

These pics are deceptive – things don’t look so bad…

 

The true horror lurks in other places – like the closet picture below.  And this doesn’t even match the deep dark corner of the room I couldn’t even look at long enough to photograph.

 

But seriously – I’m totally psyched that I have the opportunity to create such an organized and functional crafting space. I will feel so official when its all done!

New Drug of Choice

So its January and of course I have Organization Fever. I suddenly cannot sleep at night because my medicine cabinet is overcrowded and my linen/coat closet is in disarray. My life would be AMAZING if only everything had a place and was residing in said place. I lie awake contemplating the pros and cons of abandoning this house and its contents and starting fresh with a blank slate. Randy steps in and tells me to get a hold of myself. I tell him we must go to Ikea and purchase storage items to feed my addiction or I will DIE. He complies, fearing for his safety. Fast forward a few hours and behold our fun-filled evening of cubby assembly:

 

Einstein is helping in his intrusive, destructive, decidedly unhelpful way…

 

The assembly was amazingly simple and head-ache free. We got two shelving units – this 2 x 4 cubby (for 8 cubbies total) and a 4 x 4 cubby (for a total of 16 cubbies), along with an attaching desk to act as a sewing/cutting table.

 

Phew. Now my life can officially be amazing. I’m glad we got that taken care of. Now, to move them to the craft room and fill them up!

Nick Nack: Photo #363

After five years in this house I finally put some fun stuff on top of our kitchen cabinets. And that cat shaped one put itself up there.

Cutting a Rug: Photo #359

New rug. Wonder how long it will be until the animals murder it.

Friend: Photo #355

The couch was lonely so we got him a little friend…

Living: Photo #354

The living room is finally returning to normal – or should I say, better than normal.

Drop Cloth: Photo #353

Turns out they’re kind of a necessity when painting the ceiling. Looks like this guy and I will be spending a lot of time together….