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Monthly Archives: October 2010

Slow Start

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The Spotted Elephant participated in its first ever craft show today and sold……………………nothing? So the show turned out to be more of a Fall Festival that just happened to have a few craft vendors. It was well-done but small and kind of sparsely attended. None of the vendors did big business – it was apparent that the people who did come weren’t really prepared to shop. So it was disappointing from a business aspect, but we did get a chance to practice setting up a booth and we were paid lots of compliments from people who didn’t have a baby to buy for. AND we made friends with several critters who were visiting from Mr. Cowpie’s Party Animals. So all in all – not a bad day.

Preparations

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Our first show is tomorrow. TOMORROW! I don’t feel ready at all – there’s been so much to distract me lately. Luckily, my mom is a saint and has been over 3 times this week to help me save my sanity and keep me on track with my crafts when I felt like I couldn’t do it. Tonight she helped me mock up a display for tomorrow. Einstein approves. Or maybe he wants to be sold to a new family…

Motions

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Its been a very rough few days. I am going through the motions of life, because life must go on. Jobs must be kept, money must be made, and bills must be paid, even though these things seem so trivial when it feels like my future is imploding. At least knitting is somewhat therapeutic.

Again

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We’ve failed. Again. Our embryos did not make it. I won’t be pregnant with my sister and raise my baby along side her. My fantasy world has vaporized and left me with nothing but scars and sadness. Our doctor told us that if this cycle failed, I would need surgery to remove cysts and endometriosis from my ovaries before proceeding to our 6th and final IVF (we have one round left in our package). Right now it feels like I will never be happy again. It seems impossible.

Nervous

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We’re getting closer and closer to judgment day for this IVF cycle. So far during this wait I’ve been completely peaceful and positive, which is a first for me. I have been celebrating each day as another day pregnant, just waiting to see how long I would stay that way. Today is 3 weeks 5 days gestation. If it lasts, I have less than 37 weeks left until I meet my baby or babies. I have loved seeing things from this perspective. But over the last couple days a tiny seed of doubt has crept in and began to grow. I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is, but I just don’t feel pregnant anymore. I’ve lived so happily in my fantasy world of positive thinking that I’m worried the crash will be much harder when and if it happens. Until then, I’ll keep my hands busy knit-knit-kniting.

Musings

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Muse came to town today and Randy and I were there to see them!

Strolling

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The first of the stroller blankets are done! These are double layer flannel with stitching detail and twill ties at the top. They are $25 each and can be used not only as stroller blankets but also as receiving blankets and playtime floor mats. Let us know if you want to order one!