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Nervous

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We’re getting closer and closer to judgment day for this IVF cycle. So far during this wait I’ve been completely peaceful and positive, which is a first for me. I have been celebrating each day as another day pregnant, just waiting to see how long I would stay that way. Today is 3 weeks 5 days gestation. If it lasts, I have less than 37 weeks left until I meet my baby or babies. I have loved seeing things from this perspective. But over the last couple days a tiny seed of doubt has crept in and began to grow. I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is, but I just don’t feel pregnant anymore. I’ve lived so happily in my fantasy world of positive thinking that I’m worried the crash will be much harder when and if it happens. Until then, I’ll keep my hands busy knit-knit-kniting.

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