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Fun With Scalpels

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As a part of my reproductive system’s ongoing evil plot to ruin my life, my ovary thought it would be super fun to grow some cysts over the last few months. Whee! So my reproductive endocrinologist decided to do a laparoscopic hysteroscopy and ovarian cystectomy. In other words, to open me up with three small incisions and take a look at my insides via a small scope and then remove and laser out anything that wasn’t invited.

I had my surgery on November 10th and it was just as fun as it sounds. Here are some highlights:

  • My arm became a blood geyser when the nurse put in my IV and my hospital bed,  gown and blanket looked like a crime scene.  Oops.
  • The cyst was bigger than they thought and they almost couldn’t get it out laparoscopically, so I narrowly escaped a big, nasty incision! Phew!
  • My left ovary, fallopian tube, and uterus were all stuck together by endometriosis (crazy-mutant uterine lining tissue that grows wild outside of the uterus and causes all kinds of problems, including cramping and infertility).
  • The doctor was able to “clean out” my tubes and ovaries and restore them to a normal state. He classified my endometriosis as moderate to severe – and we didn’t even know I had the disease! I don’t do anything half-way.
  • I accidentally dunked my gown in the toilet when I went to the bathroom during my post-op holding period. Fun Fact: that was the second time I accidentally dunked an article of clothing I was wearing in a toilet that week. Only, the first time I wasn’t drugged…
  • My mom is a saint – she practically moved in to bring me food and help me continue with my craft production during my recovery.
  • Randy makes a great nurse – but he didn’t wear a classic nurse’s uniform as I requested.
  • Vicodin wreaks havoc with my emotional and gastrointestinal well-being.
  • Turns out its not really a good idea to schedule a craft show for three days after surgery, no matter how quickly the doctor says you’ll recover. Knitting deadlines kinda take the fun out of the recovery time when you should be snuggling in bed, watching bad movies and sleeping all day.

I’m feeling pretty much back to normal now and have been promised that my monthly cramps should be much less grizzly now. Thanks again to all my meal bringers, hospital-sitters, and well wishers!

One response »

  1. Pingback: Great Timing « The Spotted Elephant

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