So I guess I owe an explanation for waiting approximately 55 days to post again. Hmmm…..explanation…….okay, I’ve got one: I had to spend 55 days planning this super-awesome post and it will be totally worth the wait. Not buying it? Well, too bad – go get your own blog if you don’t like it. 🙂
Anyway, I’m sure you’re all intrigued with the title of the post, so let me jump in with no further ado.
Saturday was a big day for Zipper. She saw what may very well be the largest concentration of weiners (dogs that is) in one place that she will ever see. She accompanied Randy and me to the Summer National Weiner Dog Races at River Downs. No joke – this was the 12th annual Weiner Dog Race and featured 100 weiner dog competetors plus 10 honorary Basset Hound competetors. Ten heats of ten dogs each and then one final heat to decide the crown. The atmosphere was electric.
Here are some highlights of Zipper’s experience at what could be described as her family reunion:
1. Zipper realized that she was the cutest weiner in attendance. Of course she is a modest weiner so she didn’t come to this realization on her own – her mommy and daddy made sure to tell her several times. Spoiled? What are you talking about?
2. Zipper realized that she had better watch her diet or she will end up like at least a quarter of the weiners she saw – or shall we call them sausages.
3. Zipper realized that she is a wus and she likes it that way. We came upon one of these sausages and Zipper wanted to make friends. She politely began the sniff ritual when the sausage growled and kept growling. Zipper’s immediate reaction was to crouch down as low as possible and lay her head down on the ground as if to say “I’m dead. You’re the boss!” When I asked her why she said, “I’m not stupid. I know how to get by!”
4. Zipper realized that most weiners are not cut out for racing, but that makes for a more entertaining race. In each heat there were at least two to three weiners who decided that racing was not for them and that it would be more fun to sit down, stand there staring at the finish line, or leap over to another lane to check it out. The best, though, was during the Basset Hound heat when one hound decided that lying down was the proper response to the “Ready, Set, Go!” command and then, with some fervent encouragement from his owner, managed to saunter up to the finish line a good two minutes after the race was over.
5. Zipper realized that even a weiner race is not without controversy. During the championship heat one weiner was released by his owner (release the hound!) before the race had actually started. The start of the race was replayed several times on the suspended TV screens and a slightly intoxicated spectator heckled the offending weiner. How drunk do you have to be to heckle a weiner?
6. Zipper realized that weiners have a lot of fans. Since she can’t count past two, she doesn’t know how many people were there, but the stands were mostly full of people and their weiners. Also, many of the racing dogs had their own cheering sections including people wearing t-shirts and hats or holding signs of support to their chosen weiner (i.e. – a t-shirt that said “Team Oscar” with a picture of the dog I assumed was Oscar).
7. Finally, Zipper realized that her mommy is a sucker for funny weiner t-shirts. She helped me pick out a t-shirt with this design:
I will wear it with pride because it’s true – my weiner is a winner! In fact, she’s Zipperific!